Haitian Jokes - You know that you're Haitian when...

Two Haitian Women Laughing

• You point at things and people with your lips.
• You nod your head upwards to greet someone when you're too busy too talk.
• You hear "pssssssssst" and know that someone is trying to get your attention.
• Gryot ak Banan Peze is your favorite meal.
• You dip bread in your coffee, hot chocolate, and even certain kinds of liquor (Kremas).
• You have either Jean or Marie placed somewhere in your name...
• You tchwuipe (suck your teeth) when you're fed up.
• When you really get mad at someone, you want to take off your shoe and slap them with it.
• The most feeble old woman can strike fear into your heart with just one look.
• The US is made up of only three cities: Miami, New York , Boston.
• You know where the nearest Hatrexco and Bobby Express are.
• You go to work as though you were dressed for Church
• You go to Church dressed for a wedding
• You go to a wedding dressed to meet Queen Elizabeth.
• You ate rice within the past 3 days...
• Your living room couches are covered with plastic.
• You buy your cereal at Farmer's Market and you buy your fruits at Basket Market.
• You keep a "bokit" (kapten anba kaban) under your bed just in case. Prekosyon pa kapon.
• Once the temperature gets below a certain level, you lose all concept of color coordination when it comes to things like snow boots, winter coats, scarves, and hats, often doing things like wearing two different color hats at the same time.
• You have a bottle of "Ombre Rose" sitting on your dresser for those special occasions but you just don't feel fresh until you've drenched yourself in "Bien Etre".
• Your furniture is too big for your house.
• You're house is so packed with meubles and biblos that you can't even take two steps
• no one is allowed in the living room because it is reserved for company.
• Yawning indicates hunger not fatigue.
• All soda is called cola but nothing is better than Jus Rouge
• Maggi, Matouk's, Tabasco, & Tomato Paste are cooking essentials.
• If someone says that the party starts at 6 PM, then you know not to show up until 10 PM because it's impolite.

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Read more: haiti jokes, Haitian stereotypes, People, Comedy

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