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Haitian Jokes - You know that you're Haitian when...

Updated September 30, 2012 7:44 AM

You know that you're Haitian when:


Two Haitian Women Laughing

  • You point at things and people with your lips.
  • You nod your head upwards to greet someone when you're too busy too talk.
  • You hear "pssssssssst" and know that someone is trying to get your attention.
  • Gryot ak Banan Peze is your favorite meal.
  • You dip bread in your coffee, hot chocolate, and even certain kinds of liquor (Kremas).
  • You have either Jean or Marie placed somewhere in your name...
  • You tchwuipe (suck your teeth) when you're fed up.
  • When you really get mad at someone, you want to take off your shoe and slap them with it.
  • The most feeble old woman can strike fear into your heart with just one look.
  • The US is made up of only three cities: Miami, New York , Boston.
  • You know where the nearest Hatrexco and Bobby Express are.
  • You go to work as though you were dressed for Church
  • You go to Church dressed for a wedding
  • You go to a wedding dressed to meet Queen Elizabeth.
  • You ate rice within the past 3 days...
  • Your living room couches are covered with plastic.
  • You buy your cereal at Farmer's Market and you buy your fruits at Basket Market.
  • You keep a "bokit" (kapten anba kaban) under your bed just in case. Prekosyon pa kapon.
  • Once the temperature gets below a certain level, you lose all concept of color coordination when it comes to things like snow boots, winter coats, scarves, and hats, often doing things like wearing two different color hats at the same time.
  • You have a bottle of "Ombre Rose" sitting on your dresser for those special occasions but you just don't feel fresh until you've drenched yourself in "Bien Etre".
  • Your furniture is too big for your house.
  • You're house is so packed with meubles and biblos that you can't even take two steps
  • no one is allowed in the living room because it is reserved for company.
  • Yawning indicates hunger not fatigue.
  • All soda is called cola but nothing is better than Jus Rouge
  • Maggi, Matouk's, Tabasco, & Tomato Paste are cooking essentials.
  • If someone says that the party starts at 6 PM, then you know not to show up until 10 PM because it's impolite.

More Haitian Jokes at BelBlag.com

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Tags: haiti jokes, Haitian stereotypes, People, Comedy

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All Comments (60)

Chung says...

Majority of Your haitians shouldn't be here in United States.They making too much chaos in community they exists.

They don't have parking ticket, because they pretend they don't speak English or know the American law. Haitians are really human Garbages in their Majority of population.

Selfish like hell, burning their own country in hell, deserve that porverty stricken miserable living condition.

Reply  ... More

Keith says...

I agree 100%.

I deal with them every week. They lie and steal from me every week. If I do t sell something to them for half of what I'm asking, they will hound me for 20 minutes.

And if I still refuse, they pull the race card. Not to mention that they refuse to assimilate into our culture.

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Civil Marie says...

Mike Johnson, if that's your correct name before you you talk about anybody please get a dictionary also learn to read in the process you might learn to

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Queeny says...

If thts what u think bout haitian.

Ur litterally dead inside.

Reply  ... More

Clifton says...

You're so fuckin' retarted that you can't even spell "Puerto Ricans" right.

You're a fuckin' dumbass who CLEARLY doesn't know any better, let alone any Haitians if that's your response.

Being an American Haitian doesn't exclude from the rest of us. I'm an American Haitian ONLY because I was BORN in Boston, MA. You're NOTHING SPECIAL, so

Reply  ... More

Haiti Haiti says...

you know someone is Haitian like your ass, when they claiming to hate Haitians and being "Americans" and cannot even spell a freaking english word correctly! you stupid in denial Haitian...

Se mounn tankouw yo wi kap kraze

Reply  ... More

Haiti Haiti says...

you know someone is Haitian like your ass, when they claiming to hate Haitians and being "Americans" and cannot even spell a freaking english word correctly! you stupid in denial Haitian...

Se mounn tankouw yo wi kap kraze

Reply  ... More

Priscilla Coquillon says...

It's unfortunate you feel that way. and if you do, you should not be even labeling yourself as a American Haitian.

Take the Haitian off because that is an insult to your parents or family members that are of haitian decent.

As for all Haitians should have died or whatever you wished for us. That was really an ignorant statement.

Reply  ... More

Ugly Hatian says...

Hatians rent cars they don't buy them. Plus when they try and talk to a girl they change there accent and say they are Jamaican so they won't scare them off

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Ugly Hatian says...

When a hatian gets something new like $10 shoes they get big headed like as if they bought a car or something lol. If u are hatian u should be embarrassed or just kill

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