Haitian Jokes - You know that you're Haitian when...

You know that you're Haitian when:

Two Haitian Women Laughing

  • You point at things and people with your lips.
  • You nod your head upwards to greet someone when you're too busy too talk.
  • You hear "pssssssssst" and know that someone is trying to get your attention.
  • Gryot ak Banan Peze is your favorite meal.
  • You dip bread in your coffee, hot chocolate, and even certain kinds of liquor (Kremas).
  • You have either Jean or Marie placed somewhere in your name...
  • You tchwuipe (suck your teeth) when you're fed up.
  • When you really get mad at someone, you want to take off your shoe and slap them with it.
  • The most feeble old woman can strike fear into your heart with just one look.
  • The US is made up of only three cities: Miami, New York , Boston.
  • You know where the nearest Hatrexco and Bobby Express are.
  • You go to work as though you were dressed for Church
  • You go to Church dressed for a wedding
  • You go to a wedding dressed to meet Queen Elizabeth.
  • You ate rice within the past 3 days...
  • Your living room couches are covered with plastic.
  • You buy your cereal at Farmer's Market and you buy your fruits at Basket Market.
  • You keep a "bokit" (kapten anba kaban) under your bed just in case. Prekosyon pa kapon.
  • Once the temperature gets below a certain level, you lose all concept of color coordination when it comes to things like snow boots, winter coats, scarves, and hats, often doing things like wearing two different color hats at the same time.
  • You have a bottle of "Ombre Rose" sitting on your dresser for those special occasions but you just don't feel fresh until you've drenched yourself in "Bien Etre".
  • Your furniture is too big for your house.
  • You're house is so packed with meubles and biblos that you can't even take two steps
  • no one is allowed in the living room because it is reserved for company.
  • Yawning indicates hunger not fatigue.
  • All soda is called cola but nothing is better than Jus Rouge
  • Maggi, Matouk's, Tabasco, & Tomato Paste are cooking essentials.
  • If someone says that the party starts at 6 PM, then you know not to show up until 10 PM because it's impolite.

More Haitian Jokes at BelBlag.com

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All Comments (56)

Clifton says...

You're so fuckin' retarted that you can't even spell "Puerto...

You're so fuckin' retarted that you can't even spell "Puerto Ricans" right.

You're a fuckin' dumbass who CLEARLY doesn't know any better, let alone any Haitians if that's your response.

Being an American Haitian doesn't exclude from the rest of us. I'm an American Haitian ONLY because I was BORN in Boston, MA. You're NOTHING SPECIAL, so STFU!

Haiti Haiti says...

You know someone is Haitian like your ass, when they claiming...

you know someone is Haitian like your ass, when they claiming to hate Haitians and being "Americans" and cannot even spell a freaking english word correctly! you stupid in denial Haitian...

Se mounn tankouw yo wi kap kraze Haiti.

Haiti Haiti says...

You know someone is Haitian like your ass, when they claiming...

you know someone is Haitian like your ass, when they claiming to hate Haitians and being "Americans" and cannot even spell a freaking english word correctly! you stupid in denial Haitian...

Se mounn tankouw yo wi kap kraze Haiti.

Priscilla Coquillon says...

It's unfortunate you feel that way. and if you do, you should...

It's unfortunate you feel that way. and if you do, you should not be even labeling yourself as a American Haitian.

Take the Haitian off because that is an insult to your parents or family members that are of haitian decent.

As for all Haitians should have died or whatever you wished for us. That was really an ignorant statement.

Continue...
Ugly Hatian says...

Hatians rent cars, They say they are Jamaican

Hatians rent cars they don't buy them. Plus when they try and talk to a girl they change there accent and say they are Jamaican so they won't scare them off lol

Ugly Hatian says...

When a hatian gets something new like $10 shoes they get big...

When a hatian gets something new like $10 shoes they get big headed like as if they bought a car or something lol. If u are hatian u should be embarrassed or just kill yourself.

Mike Johnson says...

I'm an american Haitian and u regular Haitians are weird and...

I'm an american Haitian and u regular Haitians are weird and self righteous
And most of u should have died in loisanna and porta prince so that this world would be a better place with just black.white.mexican.and portiricans because we americans are better than u hatians nobody likes u..

Tabetha says...

no it is not

It is not Racist because every Haitian know that and it is just a way to have fun now you are looking at it from a wrong perspective!!! and this has nothing to do with Africa I'm pretty sure it says Haitians!!!!

Cosette says...

Guess I'm not Haitian... Never been to any haitian household...

Guess I'm not Haitian...

Never been to any haitian household where any of the above mentioned I've seen.

Maggy Gousse says...

You know your Haitian when you have "pat tomat" in your frig...

You know your Haitian when you have "pat tomat" in your frig and a Bokit in the bathtub or somewhere in the bathroom!

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