Haitian Relationships - Part 2 - Why people change after they get married

Here is part TWO of our relationship series: Why do people change after they get married? I participated in a radio program and that was the topic being discussed. I made three (3) points on the air that I wanted to share with you...

PHOTO - Getting Married - Wedding in Haiti
PHOTO - Getting Married - Wedding in Haiti

Reason ONE was: The person you are married to is NOT your best friend

Today, I share with you reason #2...

Reason TWO: There is no social life in the marriage.

Can you believe that many Haitians couples don't go anywhere together except church, maybe? Most of them go to work, those who have jobs, the rest of the time they just stay at home and complain all day.

You have to spend some time away from home my married friend. You have to spend some time away from the kids if you have any yet. Bring them to grandma's house and disappear for a little while.

You have to put some social life in your marriage.

Think about it for a minute. You used to take her out all the time when you guys were dating. Now that you married her, you don't take her anywhere! come on!

You guys used to go out for ice-cream. You used to go out for long drives. what happened to that?

I live in a small town in Haiti now and there is not a whole lot you can do in a small town in Haiti. So I make sure me and my partner go to church every Sunday morning, together, then immediately after church we go to a local restaurant for some Sunday "Soup Joumou". We don't cook breakfast at home on Sundays.

There are times we drive around town for some "mayi boukannen" (grilled corn on the cob). Believe me, the corn costs much more than the gas money we spent to go after it but that's not the point. We're just trying to leave the "house space" for a little while, especially when both me and and my partner work from home.

Haitians in the diaspora have more options for going out. And believe me, going out doen't have to be expensive.

And for you Haitian Christians out there... Really??? Your life is limited to CHURCH ONLY??? Every thing else is the devil? Everything else is "Le Monde?" Come on!!! Y'all Haitians know what I am talking about.

I know many Haitian relationships where one is christian and the other one is not, it usually means "The END!" even though the couple remains married there is no life in the relationship.

Figure something out...

Find a way to put some fun in your relationship. There is nothing wrong with being a bitch for your husband. God won't be mad at all. The pastor might though, but it's your marriage, not his.

I am going way out there but I want to reach some of you I know really want to hear this.

You have to find a way to put some fun in your marriage.

Go out!

Go to a bar... Pretend you guys just met, flirt with each other...

GO to a hotel... Get a room with a dancing pole... Try a different bed!!!

Damn it put some excitement in your life!

It works... I am speaking from experience!

What do you think about that?

Reply with your comments

Stay tuned for reason #3, coming soon!

If there is a reason you can think of why people change after marriage, please share!

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Charilyn Bailey says...

You are right my

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